You have probably heard the phrase “you are not a human doing, you are a human being” emphasizing the value of being in Being, being in the integrated awareness of yourself as awareness, as pure being, as undifferentiated consciousness. There’s also its mirror, “don’t just sit there and meditate, get up and do something”. Like all things in life, there is a fine balance to achieve between human activity, human doing-ness, and being centered, being grounded in Stillness. There is a balance to be found between being the doer in your experience and being a door to your experience – both of which are valuable aspects of your wholeness.
For every pattern you recognize within yourself, understanding how that pattern enhances or diminishes your creative power, your flow of energy through the layers of your being, is very useful. Codependency is a way of being in the world, in your relationship to others, to yourself, and in your relationship to the situations of your experience that has significant impact on your energy flow, on how you direct the life pulse of your creative being to manifest your personal reality.
Be mindful of the stories you let yourself become accustomed to telling. Be mindful of the stories and explanations you integrate into your being from your environment. Be mindful of the energies you allow yourself to resonate with. Remind yourself that no matter the source of the information, it’s still entirely up to you to evaluate it for its usefulness and service to your highest and best.
The expectation you unconsciously hold around "I can't get exactly what I want" or "I have to settle for less than what I want" or flat out "I can't always have what I want" is often rooted in the emotional learning you take on from the inconsistent or restricted giving of the “authority” figures in your early experience, your parents or caregivers, your early teachers, your family members and so on.
The un-lovability schema or meme isn’t the only projection that can become an organizing principle in your waking experience. Another distortion that can arise and get integrated during your development is the one that says you are unsupported. Whether you learned or absorbed this construct from others around you or came to that conclusion yourself, some version of “I am unsupported” plants itself in your psyche and you go through your experiences with this undercurrent of “my” work, career, creativity, passion, relationship, business and the like “can’t support me”.
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