The Essential Practice of Emotional Self-Validation

9/17/2018

Emotional self-validation is an essential practice on the path of deliberate creation. Part of emotional maturity, a necessary milestone in your ability to call forth whatever you desire to experience and experience it, is knowing how valid your emotional reality is, is knowing and accepting yourself as an emotional being – this requires both a higher level of awareness and a higher level of self-acceptance, a willingness to acknowledge and accept the gamut of emotional realities that swirl and curl within the layers of your being.

That higher level of awareness and higher level of self-acceptance translates into increased energy flow and quicker recovery from any internal state of resistance you find yourself in. Validation is a way of saying “I see and accept this part of me” to yourself, a state of allowing whatever is surfacing to be what it is without judgement or any sort of resistance.

When an emotion arises from your own being, it is carrying information about something that is or was true for you. What makes the information being carried and contained in the emotion available is acknowledgement and understanding of the reality that container is holding. Emotions arise from a part of your being that is not time-conscious. Emotions are non-temporal and non-linear, meaning they aren’t always necessarily about this moment in time or something you experienced a moment ago. The emotion arising may not be fact. It may not reflect what the others around you are experiencing, but in that moment it is the color and quality of your experience, it’s your momentary truth, and all it needs of you and from you before you do anything else is acknowledgement and acceptance. Acknowledgement and acceptance, self-validation primes your nervous system into even more vulnerability so that you can access parts of yourself that were once fragmented, buried, hidden, or disowned. The way toward integration, the way to reclaiming all parts of yourself is allowing, understanding, and accepting the validity of your own internal experiences, regardless of when or from what level of consciousness those internal experiences were formed.

To suppress, deny, reject, judge, or abandon yourself in that moment some emotion arises, is to disallow the flow of energy through your nervous system and to miss a window of healing and integration. To hold your breath, to fight with yourself, to try and talk yourself out of the energy that is surfacing, to ruminate on it extending and prolonging its appearance, are all strategies that don’t actually allow you to lean into and be with the energy coming up. Whatever the color and quality of your emotional self, it needs your attention just as any other part of yourself does. Before you can transform your emotions, before you can expand and enlighten your emotional body, before you can unpack and clear any trapped energy in your nervous system that is the source of a lot of the emotions that come up within you, you have to first allow yourself to accept that that’s your perspective, that whatever the emotion is communicating is your experiential truth, at least in part to some fragment of your consciousness. You really don’t have to evaluate it, reject it, judge it, negate it or any other method of stifling and suffocating that packet of awareness coming up. Simply being with your emotional self, with your emotional body when it surfaces, giving it your pure compassionate attention does much to propel you forward in your expansion and empowerment.

The stance you want to take is one that affirms all parts of yourself, one that says “I always have the emotional validation I need. I fully acknowledge, recognize and accept my interior, my lived and remembered realities. I allow myself the total freedom to hear and embrace what's arising within me.”

Let yourself recognize and accept the internal experience as real, because it is real to the part of you that stored that feeling, to your right brain, to your inner child. Let yourself recognize that of course this is the reality you are living, that it's valid, that it's seen, that it's recognized, that it's accepted. There is no need to invalidate what arises, to make it wrong, to rationalize it, to negate it, to doubt it, to judge it, to ridicule it, to ignore it, to overlook it, to dismiss it, to resist it. Practice emotional self-validation consistently in this way and you’ll gain the energy and consciousness you need to move yourself into the new terrains of experience you desire to step into. The energy you acknowledge and accept, is the energy you liberate.

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