If growth, transformation, change or a different outcome is what you’re after then you have to give up your passive awareness of your maladaptive patterns in relation to some repeating theme or dynamic in your experience.
Whatever is arising in your waking world, you’re plugging into it from some pattern of perception. The patterns of perception you maintain and rehearse in your day to day experience and in your day to day interactions aren’t going to up and leave on their own. For as long as you’re making use of those patterns of thought, feeling, and behavior, whether consciously or unconsciously, they will remain an active participant in your waking world.
You’ll find yourself living and reliving the same themes and the same dynamics. You’ll find yourself having the same conversations, the same arguments, and getting the same results. You’ll find yourself again and again stepping into the same states of being, running the same narrative, and solidifying that event or dynamic even more. No repeating event or dynamic in your experience is happening without your participation. If it’s showing up in your reality, if it’s landing on your doorstep, if it’s entering the room that you’re in, you are somehow connected to that event or dynamic. There is something you’re feeding into it and that’s the part that you want to awaken to.
What energy are you feeding that theme? What do you typically think and feel when that theme or dynamic shows up in your experience? What strategy of thought and behavior do you then use to interact or engage with it? How much of your attention and mind-space does that dynamic or event take up? Explore your part in the dynamic. What hat do you put on? Do you become the fixer? Do you become the victim? Do you become the aggressor? What energetic stance do you assume? Do you move into superiority? Do you move into inferiority? You have to actively look at who you are being in that situation or relationship and what energy you’re coming from.
The moment you awaken to your part of the dance, you can choose to think, feel, and do something different. You can choose to stop telling the story you had been telling. You can release the judgements you had held to be truth. You can choose to come from a different energetic standard. You can choose to come from wholeness or from the recognition that everyone around you has access to the same power, wisdom, and insight that you do when you are at your best. You can choose to stand in your vision instead of standing in your reactivity. You can choose.
Examine yourself and how you are doing you in the moments showing up. It’s never about “it” or “them”, it’s about how you’re relating and from where you’re relating to “it” or “them”. Everything arising is reflecting to you something about your own energy and everything arising is giving you the space and opportunity to transform, grow out of, or grow into something that’s much closer in resonance to who you really are.
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